realizing the finality of your decisions and waking up in familiar beds and seeing the sun drift in and not hearing from the people you want to hear from and instantly understanding you probably never will, at least not in the way you want to hear from them. walking home through marta stations in the rain and relighting a cigarette and laying in your own bed at 2pm folding other peoples tee shirts and silently nodding to yourself because you know its all really fine.
Don’t Worry Baby
- The Beach Boys
i want to hug everyone i love while this song plays.
Four nights before Tyler Clementi jumped from the George Washington Bridge I was sitting in a hotel room in my own town calculating exactly what I had to swallow to keep a bottle of sleeping pills down.
What I know about living is that the pain just isn’t ours. Every time I hurt, I know that wound is an echo, so I keep listening for that moment when the grief becomes a window I where I can see what I couldn’t see before."